The Number One Longvity Nourishment Isn't Anything We Eat: It's Healthy Relationships

This is the fourth blog in my “Soul Food” series about how we nourish ourselves around things other than the food we eat.

Relationships are vital to our happiness and wellbeing. Studies show that people who enjoy longevity have one important commonality. It’s not income level, or access to health care or good nutrition. It’s having love in their life. Whether it’s a committed partner, living with two or three generations of family in one house, or living in very close proximity of family and friends; it increases lifespan.

Relationship at it’s best, is a path for two people to assist each other in their growth and evolution of their souls. To create a safe space for each person to express themselves in their most authentic way and to be encouraged to show up as their highest self. An ideal love relationship is two partners moving in the same direction at the same pace with the commitment to serve each other’s personal development and wellbeing.

It’s important to really know the essence of your partner and let them know that you truly love all of them. It can feel vulnerable to reveal our true self out of fear of rejection if they really know us. We unwittingly attract people that show us aspects of our own consciousness and we choose people who will be a mirror for us.

Are you in your current relationship because of fear? Do you shrink yourself to make the relationship work? I have played small to keep relationships going and I learned that it was no one’s fault but my own. Contracting myself was a betrayal of my spirit, my gifts, my expression, and core essence. It was actually an abandonment of myself. I abandoned some of the very traits that make me who I am. I would never deny my special traits, my passions and gifts again.

How can we trust our instincts to choose the right partner? Ask yourself if you can trust that person with your heart. Ask yourself if that person inspires you to be your very best and if they are willing to serve your health and wellbeing. Ask yourself if you can both be emotionally intimate and share dreams for the future that are compatible.

What is unconditional love? I think it’s the willingness to lovingly understand what is best for your partner’s life. What if your partner wants to do something that you don’t want, like move to Alaska, or have a threesome? This may mean lovingly wishing them the best, but choose to say no thank you, and do what is best for your spirit. That’s not to say, that we don’t make compromises and put our partner’s need before our own at times, of course we do. But there may be a crossroad where the purpose and lifespan of the relationship is over.

The lines blur when we choose a partner out of our past conditioning and programming. When our romantic ideas are not congruent with the reality of bonding with another human being.

Instead, we focus on making a list of what we're looking for in another person. We hold the other person accountable to what we want them to be. We would be better off making a list of the aspects of our own lives where we are prepared for love, and recognize places where we still need work.

I think there are no wrong choices for relationships as long as we are grateful for the blessings that came from the partnership and are conscious of the lessons learned as we move forward.

A wise friend once told me that there are two kinds of partners; spiritual teachers and spiritual partners. I’ve chosen several spiritual teachers in my life and I’ve learned a lot, but this time around I have found my spiritual partner. It took me 53 years and I look forward to growing and evolving together through a long, happy, and healthy life. I wish everyone on earth love, togetherness and longevity.

For more on love and relationships I recommend Marianne Williamson’s “A return to Love”, Anne Morrow Lindhberg’s “A Gift from the Sea” or any blog by Kute Blackson on relationships.

As a health coach, I integrate all aspects of nutrition and lifestyle to assist my clients achieve health and wellness, For more info on my health coaching programs check out my services page!